It’s Okay

Eyes still closed, but conscious of the activity beyond my eyelids

The rustling of the bedroom and bathroom drawers awakens my mind

One must go, but one can stay

I tear my body out of the warm, cozy bed trying to hold on to me so tightly 

I ask her to stay more than once fantasizing about “us” time. 

It’s obvious her thoughts are in the midst of a wrestling match

I don’t barrage her with enticing offers, even though I secretly want to

The match concludes 

A trip with dad to her sister’s soccer training lesson raises its hand 

I surrender and retreat to my bed that longs for me

She’s a sucker for sports…I understand 

I still long for her company more than I can find comfort from my bed

It’s okay though

We are teaching her independence, allowing her choice, and providing practice for decision-making 

It’s about her growth, not about me

But…I still wish she stayed

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7 thoughts on “It’s Okay

  1. I felt the heart tug in this phrase , “Its about her growth, not about me” . Every day decisions can carry a lot of responsibility that I had not thought about.

  2. “I still long for her company more than I can find comfort from my bed.” This line hits me. You capture the struggle we are constantly in from day to day, decision to decision, so nicely with this slice. I hope you get some “us” time soon!

  3. I think one of the hardest things is to teach and offer our children independence from us. But, if we do it well, they will be successful adults. I always try to keep that in mind when I am wishing for “them to stay”. You have written a powerful poem.

  4. Oh my gosh!! The push and pull between mama’s little girl and the young lady she is surely becoming. Beautifully written. Just because she’s growing up and thriving from your parenting choices, doesn’t mean you can’t secretly grieve.

  5. I love writing that makes me think. A couple of lines in, I had one impression and had to readjust my thinking as I went on. I found myself reading and stopping, reading and stopping, and then rereading the whole thing. You write beautifully about that inner struggle parents face as their children become more independent. I can definitely relate to this.

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