It used to make me anxious when I saw his number come across my phone.
But not now. I know he is safe. He knows not beg me for something I cannot give him. I know better. Giving only robs him from the opportunity to grow. I am stronger now.
I actually look forward to our weekly chats. He makes me laugh. He has always had a knack for that. He is in good spirits. Bound by walls but free from his warped mind.
He is progressing well. He even has been promoted twice, in the matter of weeks. Others enjoy his company and deep thoughts. He could definitely be an inspirational speaker. Heck, he could do just about anything. He is that talented…when he wants to be.
He has an emotional side to him. I think he is starting to understand the pain he has caused over the years and has to deal with it. He feels. We say that’s a good thing, feeling in a safe environment. There is nothing in reach to escape it.
The wounds are so fresh, still raw. Though time on track may heal the wounds without leaving scars. Some will forgive and forget. Others may choose never to forgive nor forget. But, that’s okay and he must accept that.
Only he is in charge of his future. It took me a long time to learn that, but now I understand. I think he has known that for a long time, yet hasn’t taken control of his life. Now is the time. I have faith and I am what we refer to as “cautiously optimistic.”
I love him so much and am hopeful that he has the strength to get past his demons, to live a healthy life. I, too, want a healthy life for me and my loves ones. It isn’t fair to us. We don’t deserve it. We are moving on and hope he chooses to join us, to be a part of our family, part of our lives…forever!