As I read Tracy’s piece this morning I was reminded how we are so effected by what our kids do and say. We take personal responsibility for everything. Now one might think, well yeah you should, you are their parents. But…if you are a parent, you know that no matter how much you parent and think you have said and done all the right things, kids still have their own minds.
My neighbor and friend told me about a situation that occurred with her son when he was in 8th grade. He normally makes good decisions, but not this day. He and his friends thought it would be neat to take some caps off of car tires. Apparently there was a specific car that came with gold or silver caps which were a hot commodity. How much more perfect could it get? There was the car parked at Dunkin Donuts with the special caps. So, they decided to take them and run. Even the best planned hoists run into snags sometimes. The owner of the car caught them. The police and parents were called but no charges were filed. Whew! Though just like in the good ol’ days, the wrath of his parents were much more punishment than even the police could give.
After his mom was done with him, it was his dad’s turn. He lectured him and told him how embarrassing it was to him and his mom. At that point, mom jumped back in and said, “Oh no, he didn’t embarrass me, he embarrassed himself. I didn’t raise him like that.”
Genius! She’s right! There is only so much we can do. I know it’s easier said than done, but I am trying to keep that in mind at every turn, especially as kids get older, experiment, get silly, do stupid things…
I just thought I would share because I think it’s a story worth repeating. Though things seem small now, they will get bigger. What is it they say…smaller kids=smaller problems, bigger kids=bigger problems. We try so hard and do our best as parents and no matter how well we do, some things are beyond our control. Place blame where it should be placed. Try not to beat yourself up too much.